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est_jleto(Follows this - backdated to March 2014)
The show is everything. Henry understands, shares the same belief. So he fades into the background during setup and sound check and all the pre-show shit Jared puts himself through. Henry is there for it all, invisible as possible as Jared pours himself out for the Echelon. And then he very carefully collects all the little pieces and takes them back to the bus and puts them together again.
It wasn't like this on the first leg of the tour. Even as fragile as Jared was then, it wasn't like this. And Henry knows what is broken.
Henry worries about it when the show is over and Jared is showered and fed and bundled up in fluffy blankets against him. The generator motor is a pleasant hum in the background; other than that the bus is so quiet around them, just the two of them. Shannon had left with the crew to grab a quick dinner before they have the road again. Henry isn't even sure if he'll come back to their bus or not.
Jared is still keyed up, Henry can feel it in the twitch of muscle against him. He can fix that. The blowjob is fast and exactly what the doctor ordered. Jared just melts. Not exactly sleeping, but near enough for Henry's satisfaction.
With a twitch, Jared lifts his head as Shannon comes in, finally. Just in time, too. The bus engine fires up while he's closing the door and latching it.
It's startled them both awake. Sleep won't be coming for him any time soon. "Jared," Henry whispers. "I talked to Shannon today. I wasn't thinking and I'm sorry. I told him about Alex. He doesn’t get it and trying to explain only pissed him off worse."
Everything makes sense now. Jared sighs and turns a little so he is even closer to Henry.
"I see." It was bound to happen, only a matter of time. "I wish he hadn't taken it like that, Hal."
“Me too," Henry pets over the soft tangle of his boy's hair. "I wish he could, well, if not understand, at least try and accept. I know you love him."
"Well he doesn't get it and I don't know if he ever will." Jared replies gloomily. "I should've told him but..." He shrugs. "Part of me didn't think it was any of his concern."
"He's always been there for you." Henry traces the bumps of Jared's spine. "With everything else."
"I know. He means the world to me but I won't be made to choose between you and him, Hal. You're my everything." And more but there's no need to cloud the issue.
"Maybe not choose, so much, as take us in turns? If he's that uncomfortable with me I can go back to LA for a while." Henry suggests.
"No." Jared retorts. "No way. He is going to have to get over himself. I can't live like he wants me to live and Hal ..." He sighs. "I can't be without you, please don't ask me that."
Henry sighs. "Jared...I'm throwing off the balance. I can feel it."
"No. We just need to adjust the balance." Jared is having none of it.
Fuck. Jared sounds so sure and steady. Henry wants to buy in. So he does. "Okay. I'll stay out of his way as much as possible."
"Good. That works." Jared is sure it will work. Because it has to.
The show is everything. Henry understands, shares the same belief. So he fades into the background during setup and sound check and all the pre-show shit Jared puts himself through. Henry is there for it all, invisible as possible as Jared pours himself out for the Echelon. And then he very carefully collects all the little pieces and takes them back to the bus and puts them together again.
It wasn't like this on the first leg of the tour. Even as fragile as Jared was then, it wasn't like this. And Henry knows what is broken.
Henry worries about it when the show is over and Jared is showered and fed and bundled up in fluffy blankets against him. The generator motor is a pleasant hum in the background; other than that the bus is so quiet around them, just the two of them. Shannon had left with the crew to grab a quick dinner before they have the road again. Henry isn't even sure if he'll come back to their bus or not.
Jared is still keyed up, Henry can feel it in the twitch of muscle against him. He can fix that. The blowjob is fast and exactly what the doctor ordered. Jared just melts. Not exactly sleeping, but near enough for Henry's satisfaction.
With a twitch, Jared lifts his head as Shannon comes in, finally. Just in time, too. The bus engine fires up while he's closing the door and latching it.
It's startled them both awake. Sleep won't be coming for him any time soon. "Jared," Henry whispers. "I talked to Shannon today. I wasn't thinking and I'm sorry. I told him about Alex. He doesn’t get it and trying to explain only pissed him off worse."
Everything makes sense now. Jared sighs and turns a little so he is even closer to Henry.
"I see." It was bound to happen, only a matter of time. "I wish he hadn't taken it like that, Hal."
“Me too," Henry pets over the soft tangle of his boy's hair. "I wish he could, well, if not understand, at least try and accept. I know you love him."
"Well he doesn't get it and I don't know if he ever will." Jared replies gloomily. "I should've told him but..." He shrugs. "Part of me didn't think it was any of his concern."
"He's always been there for you." Henry traces the bumps of Jared's spine. "With everything else."
"I know. He means the world to me but I won't be made to choose between you and him, Hal. You're my everything." And more but there's no need to cloud the issue.
"Maybe not choose, so much, as take us in turns? If he's that uncomfortable with me I can go back to LA for a while." Henry suggests.
"No." Jared retorts. "No way. He is going to have to get over himself. I can't live like he wants me to live and Hal ..." He sighs. "I can't be without you, please don't ask me that."
Henry sighs. "Jared...I'm throwing off the balance. I can feel it."
"No. We just need to adjust the balance." Jared is having none of it.
Fuck. Jared sounds so sure and steady. Henry wants to buy in. So he does. "Okay. I'll stay out of his way as much as possible."
"Good. That works." Jared is sure it will work. Because it has to.
